1. What do I feel guilty about? (Be as specific or as general as you need to be.)
2. Why is this still on my heart? (What makes this feel unfinished or unresolved?)
3. How has this guilt affected me over the years?
☐ I’ve avoided bringing it up
☐ I overcompensate or try too hard now
☐ I feel stuck emotionally
☐ I’m not sure—it just lingers
☐ Other: ______________________________________
PART 2: What Do I Want From This?
4. Why do I want to talk to my child about this now?
☐ To say “I’m sorry”
☐ To be more open and honest
☐ To let go of guilt
☐ To better understand their experience
☐ To bring us closer
☐ Other: ______________________________________
5. What am I not trying to do? (Check any that apply. These are things to avoid.)
☐ Force forgiveness
☐ Rehash old arguments
☐ Shift blame
☐ Get them to say I was right
☐ Overwhelm them with detail
☐ Other: ______________________________________
PART 3: What Might I Say?
6. Write a first draft of what you might say: (This doesn’t have to be perfect. Just get it out.)
"I’ve been thinking about…"
PART 4: Am I Ready to Listen?
7. How might they respond?
☐ They may feel hurt or surprised
☐ They may be grateful I brought it up
☐ They might not say much at all
☐ They may need time to process
☐ They may have feelings I haven’t heard before
8. Am I ready to hear their feelings—even if it’s hard?
☐ Yes
☐ Not yet, but I want to be
☐ I’m nervous, but I’ll try
PART 5: Moving Forward
9. A message I want to leave them with—no matter how the conversation goes:
(Here are a few gentle ways to begin if you're not sure how to say it.)
- “Before we wrap this up, I just want you to know that…”
- “No matter how this lands, what matters most to me is that…”
- “I didn’t bring this up to change the past—I just needed you to hear…”
- “You don’t have to say anything back right now, but I want you to know…”
- “I’ve carried this for a long time, and whether or not we talk more about it, I wanted you to know…”
Disclaimer: This worksheet is for personal reflection and informational purposes only. It is not intended to replace professional counseling, therapy, or mental health care. If you're struggling with unresolved guilt, family conflict, or emotional distress, consider speaking with a licensed therapist or counselor.
